Saying Goodbye isn’t the Worst Thing

May 15, 2020

by Jess, Restore Network Foster Mom

What do I wish more people knew about foster care? That saying goodbye isn’t the worst thing that could happen.

I get it, I’ve been there. The thought of loving a child as your own for a few months, or a year, or a few years… and then having them leave? It’s the thought that spurs the “I could never do that. I’d get too attached” comments.

Here’s a secret: I can’t do it either. We fear for our own hearts. For the hearts of our children. For our family, and friends. We don’t want to walk willingly into heartbreak.

But loving a child for a time, giving them the safety and security and attachment they need to heal and grow. Teaching them what home is, what family is, and that they are so worth loving. And then placing them lovingly back into the arms of their parents who have wanted them and fought for them and overcome for them. This is what should propel our calling and make us brave, not keep us from ever saying yes.

Is the uncertainty scary? Yes. Does the goodbye hurt? Like hell. But it is not the worst possible thing.

The worst possible thing is a baby born addicted to drugs with no one to hold him. A hungry child sleeping on the floor of the DCFS office with nowhere to go. A sibling set of three separated for the first time and driven to homes cities away from one another.

These aren’t just stories or statistics. These are the children in our very neighborhoods that need us. Their hearts are already broken, they didn’t have a choice. We can’t let the fear of a possible heartbreak for us in the future stop us from showing up for the very real children who need us now. They are so very worth it.

✏️: Jess Stamm, Restore Network Foster Mom
?: @joymm3

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