by Jess Stamm, Restore Network Foster Mom
For 601 days I was your mama. For 601 days I had the privilege and joy of rocking you to sleep. Making you laugh. Watching you learn to crawl, and walk, and run. Kissing your boo boos. Calming your tears. Tickling that belly.
Two days ago I buckled you into your dad’s car with your favorite stuffed animal and blankie. I kissed your cheeks for the last time as your mama and said see you soon.
I know I’ll see you soon. And that I hopefully can always be a mama to you, just in a different way.
Here we are. My biggest fear. We’ve said goodbye to our baby M. who we loved as our own for 601 days. And it hurts every bit as bad as I imagined.
But I can say this with confidence… I’d do it all over again for him in a heartbeat. He is absolutely worth it.
And the look of absolute joy on his dad’s face will remain etched in my mind forever and gives me so much hope. In the midst of a lot of fear and worry over the future, I have to choose to cling to hope.
Two days ago, my heart split wide open. But two days ago, I saw a father’s put back together. A family restored. This pain is so worth that.