Connected Child Book Study
When you come to a Restore Network 201 Workshop and join the network as a Restore family, you receive a copy of one of our favorite books, The Connected Child.
You could read this book alone, but we think you’ll get more out of it by reading it in community, with other foster and adoptive families experiencing many of the same joys and challenges as you!
To that end, we invite our Restore Network families to join us for The Connected Child online book study opportunities hosted several times a year.
In this study you’ll find community, understanding, and the practical tools you need to help your family thrive.
Book Study Details
10 week study, sessions held weekly for 1.5 hours
Participants will read a chapter of The Connected Child book each week and review the provided question prompts.
Studies generally begin in January, April and September.
Participants will prioritize the weekly zoom chats and not miss more than 2 sessions.
All sessions will be held via Zoom. Video cameras are required to be on.
Participants will receive 1.5 hours of training credits for each session attended.
Book study is open to all Restore Network families. This includes families who are currently licensed and post-adoption families.
Topics include: Solving the Puzzle of Difficult Behavior | Disarming the Fear Response with Felt Safety | You Are the Boss | Dealing with Defiance | Nurturing at Every Opportunity | Proactive Strategies to Make Life Easier, etc.
Take the first step today.
To ask questions or find our when the next study begins, email Ashley at abennett@TheRestoreNetwork.org.
Goodness
As we engage the foster care crisis, we remember that every person is created in the image of God. Therefore, each person has goodness and dignity within them — each wounded foster child, each struggling birth parent, each broken family. We value each life. Father Gregory Boyle, a Jesuit priest, writes, “The wrong idea has taken root in the world. And the idea is this: there just might be lives out there that matter less than other lives.” Every life has incredible value because of God.
Honesty:
We face the world as it is. God created this world good, but it has all been tainted by sin — by what we’ve done, by what’s been done to us, and by the brokenness that has taken hold of creation. Sin has the ability to destroy life through a vicious cycle of personal tragedy and failure, which is often seen in the “cycle of foster care.” By serving the foster care sphere, we are honored to link arms with birth parents who have likely suffered abuse, neglect or abandonment themselves, leaving them without the necessary resources to parent well. We are lights for Christ in this cycle of hurt brought on by our fallen world.
Love:
We put away the pointing finger (Isaiah 58:9) and put on love. Love heals what is broken and restores God’s goodness in each life. We love because God first loved us. We serve a Savior who showed us compassion when we were lost and without hope. He did not save us from far away, but drew near and made His dwelling among us (John 1:14). Our love for birth families is rooted in the compassion that Christ showed us. Henri Nouwen reminded us that compassion means “to suffer with”: “Compassion asks us to go where it hurts, to enter into places of pain, to share in brokenness, fear, confusion, and anguish. Compassion challenges us to cry out with those in misery, to mourn with those who are lonely, to weep with those in tears, to be weak with the weak, vulnerable with the vulnerable, and powerless with the powerless. Compassion means full immersion in the condition of being human.”
Church:
We love the church. We are convinced that God longs to bring healing and restoration to families through the body of Christ. God designed children to grow up in healthy families, but when families are in crisis, God wants to heal them through the church. No other community on earth has the privilege and the power to stand between what is and what shall be in the world. The church is the sign pointing to new creation, the foretaste of what it will be like when all is restored and an instrument by which God restores goodness in the world right now. We work with God to love and to heal, and we rejoice with God when families are restored.
Family:
We see family as a haven and refuge not only from the world but also for the world. Family is not an impermeable sanctuary that one must be born into but, instead, is a hospitable people who share a readiness to welcome others home. Children who have been harmed in relationship will only find healing in relationship. Therefore, families are the primary way to bring healing to vulnerable children.
Support:
We believe that every Christian and every church can participate in caring for the vulnerable. James 1:27 says, “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.” While we are all called to care for the vulnerable, those callings will be different: some will foster, some will adopt, and–just as importantly–some will support. In 1 Corinthians 12, Paul calls the church “the body of Christ” in order to make a comparison to a human body. Just as the parts of our bodies must work together, so all believers and all communities of believers must use their diverse, God-given gifts to minister to the vulnerable. Some are called to foster, some are called to adopt and some are called to support, but we are all called.
Commitment:
We are committed to pursuing God’s restoration in the lives of the children we serve. Trauma affects everyone in tremendous ways, and healing is not quick. We enter the journey with realistic expectations, which means we prepare ourselves for a difficult and uncertain journey for the sake of the child. We are committed to being learners for how to parent children from hard places, and we will ask for support and resources during times of crisis.
Scripture:
The Bible is the inspired and infallible instrument for God’s authority being exercised in the world. We submit ourselves to the Spirit’s voice addressing us through scripture to correct error, heal brokenness, reveal God’s plan for restoration and release us for service to the world.
Testimonials
I always leave the session wanting to learn more. I am 110% sure that this information, once applied, is going to help me become a strong, more loving and attentive foster mom and advocate for the children that will be placed in my home.
-A Restore Network Family
I feel you made everyone comfortable and made it easier to participate in the sessions.
-A Restore Network Family
To be fully honest I was participating in the course just to get the credits needed to renew our license but can now say I am walking away with gained knowledge and tools to be a better parent to our children. Thank you for presenting this training and being so open and honest with your own experiences during our sessions.
-A Restore Network Family
I think this should be taught as part of PRIDE. I got so much out of it.
-A Restore Network Family
I have learned so much from this class and am already reaping the benefits. It has helped me understand my son so much more and has given me the best tools. I feel less stress and more confident in parenting him. I know I have so much more to learn but this was a great start. I appreciate you and your willingness to share your knowledge with us.
-A Restore Network Family
Honestly, before this class I was feeling so lost and confused with how to parent him but taking this class has given me peace and has helped me better understand him.
-A Restore Network Family
Goodness
As we engage the foster care crisis, we remember that every person is created in the image of God. Therefore, each person has goodness and dignity within them — each wounded foster child, each struggling birth parent, each broken family. We value each life. Father Gregory Boyle, a Jesuit priest, writes, “The wrong idea has taken root in the world. And the idea is this: there just might be lives out there that matter less than other lives.” Every life has incredible value because of God.
Honesty:
We face the world as it is. God created this world good, but it has all been tainted by sin — by what we’ve done, by what’s been done to us, and by the brokenness that has taken hold of creation. Sin has the ability to destroy life through a vicious cycle of personal tragedy and failure, which is often seen in the “cycle of foster care.” By serving the foster care sphere, we are honored to link arms with birth parents who have likely suffered abuse, neglect or abandonment themselves, leaving them without the necessary resources to parent well. We are lights for Christ in this cycle of hurt brought on by our fallen world.
Love:
We put away the pointing finger (Isaiah 58:9) and put on love. Love heals what is broken and restores God’s goodness in each life. We love because God first loved us. We serve a Savior who showed us compassion when we were lost and without hope. He did not save us from far away, but drew near and made His dwelling among us (John 1:14). Our love for birth families is rooted in the compassion that Christ showed us. Henri Nouwen reminded us that compassion means “to suffer with”: “Compassion asks us to go where it hurts, to enter into places of pain, to share in brokenness, fear, confusion, and anguish. Compassion challenges us to cry out with those in misery, to mourn with those who are lonely, to weep with those in tears, to be weak with the weak, vulnerable with the vulnerable, and powerless with the powerless. Compassion means full immersion in the condition of being human.”
Church:
We love the church. We are convinced that God longs to bring healing and restoration to families through the body of Christ. God designed children to grow up in healthy families, but when families are in crisis, God wants to heal them through the church. No other community on earth has the privilege and the power to stand between what is and what shall be in the world. The church is the sign pointing to new creation, the foretaste of what it will be like when all is restored and an instrument by which God restores goodness in the world right now. We work with God to love and to heal, and we rejoice with God when families are restored.
Family:
We see family as a haven and refuge not only from the world but also for the world. Family is not an impermeable sanctuary that one must be born into but, instead, is a hospitable people who share a readiness to welcome others home. Children who have been harmed in relationship will only find healing in relationship. Therefore, families are the primary way to bring healing to vulnerable children.
Support:
We believe that every Christian and every church can participate in caring for the vulnerable. James 1:27 says, “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.” While we are all called to care for the vulnerable, those callings will be different: some will foster, some will adopt, and–just as importantly–some will support. In 1 Corinthians 12, Paul calls the church “the body of Christ” in order to make a comparison to a human body. Just as the parts of our bodies must work together, so all believers and all communities of believers must use their diverse, God-given gifts to minister to the vulnerable. Some are called to foster, some are called to adopt and some are called to support, but we are all called.
Commitment:
We are committed to pursuing God’s restoration in the lives of the children we serve. Trauma affects everyone in tremendous ways, and healing is not quick. We enter the journey with realistic expectations, which means we prepare ourselves for a difficult and uncertain journey for the sake of the child. We are committed to being learners for how to parent children from hard places, and we will ask for support and resources during times of crisis.
Scripture:
The Bible is the inspired and infallible instrument for God’s authority being exercised in the world. We submit ourselves to the Spirit’s voice addressing us through scripture to correct error, heal brokenness, reveal God’s plan for restoration and release us for service to the world.
About TBRI
The Connected Child was written by Dr. Karyn Purvis and includes the principles of Trust Based Relational Intervention®. TBRI® is an attachment-based, trauma-informed intervention that is designed to meet the complex needs of vulnerable children. TBRI® uses Empowering Principles to address physical needs, Connecting Principles for attachment needs, and Correcting Principles to disarm fear-based behaviors. While the intervention is based on years of attachment, sensory processing, and neuroscience research, the heartbeat of TBRI® is connection.
Who is it for and who should use it?
TBRI® is designed to meet the complex needs of children who have experienced adversity, early harm, toxic stress, and/or trauma. Because of their histories, it is often difficult for these children to trust the loving adults in their lives, which often results in perplexing behaviors. TBRI® offers practical tools for parents, caregivers, teachers, or anyone who works with children, to see the “whole child” in their care and help that child reach his highest potential.
Why use it?
Because of their histories, children who have experienced trauma have changes in their bodies, brains, behaviors, and belief systems. While a variety of parenting strategies may be successful in typical circumstances, children with histories of harm need caregiving that meets their unique needs and addresses the whole child. That said, we’ve found that any child benefits from a nurturing, trusting relationship with a safe adult.
Where is it used?
TBRI® is used worldwide in homes, residential facilities, group homes, schools, camps, schools, juvenile justice facilities, courts, with survivors of sex trafficking, in faith communities, courts, with law enforcement, in clinical practices and beyond.